would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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