In America we eat man semen.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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