I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
