oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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