I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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