then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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