I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
