the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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