I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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