Fuck appropriateness.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
