I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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