I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
