Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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