I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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