your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
