You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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