Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
