no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
