I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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