You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
