I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize