dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize