who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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