Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
