It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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