I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
