i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
