ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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