Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I CAN MOONWALK!
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
