my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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