i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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