i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
