even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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