I love black thongs
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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