dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
