No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
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i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
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Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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