Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
