dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
