I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
