we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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