There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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