Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
This is my gift to your gina
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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