the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
