just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
