Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
and she was petting her beer can
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
