Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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