we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
