I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
