life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize