You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
