I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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