I need to stop coming to work sober
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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