I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
