I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
