so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
