Heybabeimwearingurpanties
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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