I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize