well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
