Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The air was thick with penises
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
