i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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