there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
