Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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