I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
